Occupy The Local Option

Event: Occupy The Local Option
Date: Friday January 27, 2012
Time: 3pm

Dear Fellow Nerds,

We are assembled at the Local Option— which we’ve renamed Beer Plaza — in the financial district of Chicago, because we believe that the American beer-economy is heading in the wrong direction and we have a few ideas for what to do about it.

There is a feeling shared by a growing number of people on the streets of the world that the worldwide beer-economy has become a kind of Ponzi scheme, a global casino, run by and for the benefit of the 1 percent.

We believe that it is possible to inject malt, hops and water into the global economy. We have come up with the following list of things that can be done right now to rejuvenate democracy and beer-centric justice in our country:

• Encourage foreclosures on drinkers and purveyors of false beer.

• Increase funding to quality public houses by taxing the richest 1 percent.

• Forgive all student loan debt incurred through the purchase of fine beer.

• Reinstate the Michael-Jackson Act in order to control speculation.

• Work with the other G666 nations to implement a 1% “Throbbin’ Wood” levy on all online beer transactions.

• Ban high-frequency ‘flash’ beer sales and bring sanity to the markets.

• Break up the “too drunk to fuck” bars that threaten the future of civil beer drinking.

• Arrest the agrarian fraudsters responsible for the 2008 hop shortage and bring them to justice.

• Ordain an Enlightened Commission tasked with ending the influence corporate money has on controlling the existing American beer-economy.

If you agree with any of these demands, then join us! We will stay here in our encampment in Beer Plaza until President Obama responds to each of these demands. This is just the beginning; there is more to come as we work together to reshape America.

— The People’s Assembly of The Local Option

Draft List:
Alvinne Gaspar
Apostelbräu Hauzenberg First Bavarian Pale Ale
Bells Hopslam
Boulevard Chocolate Ale
Brasserie des Franches-Montagnes Abbaye de Saint Bon-Chien 2010
Cantillon Fou’Foune
Central Waters Brewers Reserve Bourbon Barrel Stout
Central Waters Exodus
Central Waters/Local Option La Petite Mort
De Molen Bed & Breakfast
De Molen Hemel & Aarde (Heaven And Earth)
De Molen Rook & Vuur (Smoke And Fire)
Dieu du Ciel Péché Mortel
Djævlebryg Old Mephisto
Evil Twin Biscotti Break
Evil Twin Freudian Slip
Evil Twin The Talented Mr. Orangutan
Founders Double Trouble
Founders Imperial Stout
Great Divide Espresso Oak Aged Yeti
Hinterland Luna Coffee Stout
Jandrain-Jandrenouille IV Saison
Jolly Pumpkin Calabaza Blanca
Jolly Pumpkin Oro De Calabaza
Local Option American Muscle
Local Option Dampf Loc
Local Option Morning Wood
Mestreechs Aajt
Mikkeller 黑 / Black (2009)
Port Brewing Older Viscosity
Thornbridge Jaipur
Three Floyd’s Rune Priest

Bottle List:
3 Fonteinen Doesjel 2006
3 Fonteinen Oude Geuze
3 Fonteinen Oude Geuze
3 Fonteinen Schaerbeekse Kriek
Anchorage Brewing Company White Out
Boon Gueuze
Boon Mariage Parfait 2004
Brooklyn Black Ops
Brooklyn Local 1
Brooklyn Local 2
Cantillon Classic Gueuze
Cantillon Kriek
Cantillon Mamouche
Chimay Grand Reserve JB ‘08
Chimay Grand Réserve
Dark Horse Double Crooked Tree
Evil Twin 9th Symphony
Evil Twin Monk Suffers Sugar Rush
Evil Twin Ron & The Beast Ryan
Evil Twin Without You I’m Nothing
Fantôme Brise-BonBons!
Fantôme Hiver
Fantôme Noël
Fantôme Saison
Firestone 15
Firestone Walker Abacus
Goose Island Big John
Gouden Carolus Cuvee van de Keizer 2008
Jolly Pumpkin Boudelaire Beer iO Saison
Mikkeller Beer Geek Brunch
Mikkeller Big Bad Worse
Mikkeller Draft Bear
Nøgne Ø Dark Horizon 3rd Ed.
Nøgne Ø Red Horizon
Nøgne Ø Sweet Horizon
Orval Trappist Ale
Port Brewing Santa’s Little Helper
St. Bernardus ABT 12
St. Feuillien Triple
Stillwater Debauched
Struise Tsjeeses Res. X-Mas
Struise Tsjeeses X-Mas Ale
The Lost Abbey Deliverance Ale
Tilquin Gueuze
Trappist Achel 8˚ Blond
Van Steenberge Augustijn Ale
Westmalle Trappist Ale Dubbel
Westmalle Trappist Ale Triple

411:
Date: Friday January 27
Address: The Local Option 1102 W. Webster, Chicago, IL 60614
Time: 3pm
Web: http://www.localoptionbier.com