Fieldwork Chocolate Thunder God

With the winds whipping up off of the ocean and the dark seas spitting back with each bump, we take an Imperial Milk Stout voyage wto pillage chocolate and goods from faraway lands and bring to the mighty gates of Valhalla a new member of the Aesir; a Chocolate Thunder God. First port we stop in is Britain where we take all of the golden and roasted malts we can carry. Malts we had heard stories of contributing notes of coffee, cocoa, biscuits, and molasses. Our brew team loads the ship with bags of malt while our lone keg washer lights the guy from Coldplay’s house on fire; then we set back off for our next stop, the Netherlands. There we gather up heaps of their magical dark cocoa powder to help us decrease the acidity in our magnificent ale and lend a deep flavor of dark chocolate. Down the Atlantic Ocean and through the Gulf of Guinea we get to Ghana where we stock up on cocoa nibs that we will run through our smoker and toast by hand until they are dripping with chocolate perfection. Off to fight the storms of Drake Passage and up the Atlantic to Ecuador where we collect even more cocoa nibs to rain down in their raw state to add a bite of dark chocolate to this rich elixir. Our final leg finds us traveling up the Pacific Ocean to California where we take as much Milk Sugar as we can fit in our arms, a happy cow or two for dinner, and Guy Fieri’s Lamborghini. When combined the ingredients our mighty red beards traveled the world to collect create a tormenting storm of chocolate that rains down on neck beards with the fury only provided by the Chocolate Thunder God.